When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to have conversations — and that most of us don't converse very well. Celeste Headlee has worked as a radio host for decades, and she knows the ingredients of a great conversation: Honesty, brevity, clarity and a healthy amount of listening. In this insightful talk, she shares 10 useful rules for having better conversations. "Go out, talk to people, listen to people," she says. "And, most importantly, be prepared to be amazed."
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I'm not a Gabby person ., So I loose intrest real quick when talking to a person if I notice they are not listening to me , they are just waiting to speak .
Also very distracting - a thing that some women do ( never had a guy do this yet anyway ) as I'm speaking to someone and looking at them and they are moving their mouths (as if they are mirroring me ) sometimes not even silently , what in the world is that about ?
Well, to be perfectly honest, in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my point of view, but also by looking into this matter in a different perspective and without being condemning of one's view's and by trying to make it objectified, and by considering each and every one's valid opinion, I honestly believe that I completely forgot what I was going to say. 🤔
I have that one friend who always cuts me off mid-sentence because I am a slow speaker (English is my second language). Most of the time I find that really annoying and every time I'm like "Will you ever even let me finish my sentence?"
Yupp we shouldn’t be a multitasker because sometimes we stuck in between whole works and couldn’t complete one of them atleast. If we are not good multitasker then dont go for it guys . Rather than that focus on single task and u can give ur good . Then go for other task .
I am so excited to apply what I’ve just learned . I would always say, “ I just love people!” But in reality , I haven’t. I have not been a good listener . I can now truly love people by showing interest in what they are saying and forget about any distractions that may come in my mind. Thank you for this! May God bless you as you help other people love people the way they should!
I am going to own that I've fallen back into: when I'm speaking and the other person gets distracted by someone else - 1. if they come back, I don't begin with "so ... "
My husband had amazing listening skills - and that made it easier for me to understand. Now that he's gone I have found myself going back to bad habits.
This video has made me think! Hard!
Communication changes every so many generation along with languages. It is a matter of fact.
50 years ago. English was not the same as it is now. We're non verbal creatures. So kids are just using new techinics about communicating.
I have only seen 4 minutes at this point.
But it become clear to me that she is so extremely afraid of offending someone that this alone must be a handicap when you want to communicate.
I agree with most of what she say, but think that the fair of offending people is just as big issue as the topic she talk about.
Yeahhhh can't watch this when the opener ignores how we're only "polarized" because women are considered breeding cattle and anyone not white isn't human. There's no letting someone who believes that crap have their peace.
I'm going to start the first session soon. I 'll let you know when it's the exact date for it. Also, I will let you know what will be the first topic!!! Stay tuned! :)we are glad to have you in our group!
I guess I have a lot of questions. What if the person drones on and on because you have been actively listening and, after a while, it has become extremely exhausting to continue engaging? What if you are stuck with someone who doesn’t provide details to your open questions (imagine a very long car ride)? How do you master conversing with someone who insists on talking over you, interrupting your questions, or showing their intellectual prowess by talking down to you?
What if someone comes up to you trying to engage you and you are clearly busy?
I guess the answer would be “well, you must be doing it wrong then.” To which I respond with, well this is a damn hard art form :(
Thank you for giving us so much information Celeste xoxo
Notes—10 ways to have a better conversation
Nowadays, scientists found that we’re more polarized, we’re more divided than we ever have been in history. We are less likely to compromise, which means we’re not listening to each other. We keep making decision like where to live, what kind of friends to make based on what we already believed.
A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along the way, we lost that balance.
Kids spend hours each day engaging with ideas and each other through screens, but rarely do they have an opportunity to have hone their interpersonal communication skills. It’s critical to sustain coherent and confident conversation.
Sometimes, even when we talk to people we disagree with deeply on a personal level, we still could have a great conversation with them.
10 ways to have a better conversation
1. Don’t multitask. Be present, be in that moment. Don’t be half in, and half out of it.
2. Don’t pontificate. True listening requires a setting aside of oneself, and sometimes that means setting aside your personal opinion. Sensing this kind of acceptance, the speaker will become less and less vulnerable and more and more likely to open up the inner recesses of his or her mind to the listener. You need to enter any conversation, assuming that you have something to learn. Bill Nye once said:” Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t.”
3. Use open-ended questions. “What was that like?” “How was that feel?”
4. Go with the flow. Thoughts will come into your mind, and you need to let them go out of your mind. Stories and ideas are going to come to you, and you need to let them come and let them go.
5. If you don’t know, say that you don’t know. Talk should not be cheap.
6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs. All experiences are individual. And more importantly, it is not about you. You don’t need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are, or how much you’ve suffered.
7. Try not to repeat yourself. It’s condescending, and it’s really boring.
8. Stay out of the weeds. People don’t care about the details that you’re struggling to come up with in your mind. They don’t care. What they care is about you. So forget the details, leave them out.
9. Listen. Listening is perhaps the most, the number 1 most important skill that you could develop. Why do we not listen to each other? 1)We’d rather talk. When we’re talking, we’re in control. 2) We get distracted. Most of us don’t listen with the intent to understand, we listen with the intent to reply.
10. Be brief. Keep it short enough to retain the interest, and long enough to overt the subject.
To sum up, please be interested in other people. Keep your mouth shut and your mind open. Be always prepared to be amazed by others.
Actually, it is good to say the same many times in different times if you want someone to change their mind. They start thinking about that, and I am so grateful to my co worker about the advice to talk a lot of times and say the same to my kid who almost dropped school. Somehow my words went to his mind and he finished school successfully. From this I take a lesson - never take an advice on YouTube as the right one. Or any advice . Check it first.o
Weather, health?Politics?Who are you married to and live with?Subject? can talk about?Interview peopleExpert in somethingOpen ended question Who, what, why and where? Try to get describingIf you don't know - sayExperience, individuals about them not youRepeat what they are saying not what you are repeatingNot Details - about you not detailsListen
Impressive speech, method of delivery was spot on, funny/enjoyable to listen/watch, and absolutely perfect conversation tips/reminders!!! It was informationally packed, direct and to the point, relatable, and helpful to anyone. 😂🎉
Coming back from the Jim Jeffries video about being ugly...trying to develop my people skills because I need it XD. Just remember mah fellow ugly ladies and dudes, or even mah average looking ladies and dudes, we're much more easy to approach so if you're fun to talk to too you'll be just as good at making friends as anybody else!
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