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Videos uploaded by user “Jaydie”
Lonely Schizoid Ramblings
 
04:11
At 0:57 I begin my lonely ramblings. More information about Schizoid Personality Disorder here: http://www.minddisorders.com/Py-Z/Schizoid-personality-disorder.html https://psychcentral.com/disorders/schizoid-personality-disorder-symptoms/
Views: 2728 Jaydie
why doesn't jaydie respond often?
 
02:04
It's really nothing to be offended over.
Views: 105 Jaydie
schizoid personality disorder aka why i push everyone away
 
29:04
0:25 - Schizoid personality disorder as defined by the DSM (tl;dr: aversion to social bonding) 1:22 - Schizoid people as being sensitive and emotional but uncomfortable expressing that 3:53 - Schizoid people as loners 4:45 - Traits found by a study to be most prevalent in people with schizoid PD (e.g. shyness, social awkwardness, anxiety, etc) 5:47 - Schizoid people are often underweight 6:04 - Schizoidism is associated with creativity & internet usage 6:23 - Schizoid PD according to minddisorders.com 7:38 - Slow speech & lethargy among schizoid individuals 9:04 - Constant rejection during childhood is why I (and many others) developed schizoid PD 9:41 - Schizoid PD and Aspergers are very similar and often overlapping 9:59 - Most similar subreddits to the Schizoid subreddit 10:59 - Many schizoids relieve our loneliness by debating gender issues online 12:06 - Avoidant Personality Disorder compared to Schizoid Personality Disorder 13:30 - Writing: one of the only things I'm very good at 14:14 - If I were male, I'd probably be incel. (I just hope I wouldn't be as extremist and vulgar as the men on the incels subreddit.) 17:15 - How I cured my insomnia 18:12 - Why I waste my time arguing with misogynists on the internet 19:06 - More reading regarding schizoid personality disorder 20:15 - The schizoid attraction to fantasy 21:15 - My interest in music & movies 23:00 - Contributing Maturational Patterns & Characteristics to Schizoid Personality Disorder 24:30 - Many schizoid people do secretly desire social interaction 25:00 - The harmful effects of schizoid personality disorder
Views: 1179 Jaydie
Schizoid Personality Disorder is Not Schizophrenia
 
09:34
Many people understandably confuse Schizoid PD with schizophrenia, but they're different. In fact, one of the diagnostic criteria for Schizoid PD is that it "does not occur exclusively during the course of Schizophrenia, a Mood Disorder With Psychotic Features, [or] another Psychotic Disorder". https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/symptoms-of-schizoid-personality-disorder/ Schizophrenia has both positive symptoms (which are symptoms that schizophrenic people have, but healthy people lack, such as delusions and hallucinations) and negative symptoms (which are traits that healthy people have, but schizophrenic people lack, such as energy and motivation and sociability). https://www.livingwithschizophreniauk.org/advice-sheets/negative-symptoms-understanding/ Schizoid PD is called such because it can resemble schizophrenia (-oid means "resembles", similar to how humanoids resemble humans) in its negative symptoms. http://www.humanologyproject.org/personality/schizotypal-and-schizoid-personality-disorders-an-overview "Schizoid personality disorder linked to unbearable and inescapable loneliness... SPD overlaps with the negative symptoms of schizophrenia: flat affect, lack of motivation, and social withdrawal." http://scielo.isciii.es/pdf/ejpen/v24n1/original4.pdf "Schizoid PD is characterized more by extreme social isolation caused from a lack of desire for interpersonal relationships in the absence of positive-like symptoms [hallucinations, delusions, etc]. Schizoid PD can be characterized by negative-like symptoms and interpersonal deficits." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2992453/ Symptoms of Schizoid Personality Disorder are 4 or more of the following: "1) Neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family 2) Almost always chooses solitary activities 3) Has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person 4) Takes pleasure in few, if any, activities 5) Lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives 6) Appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others 7) Shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affect (emotion)"
Views: 500 Jaydie
Why Horror Is My Favorite Genre
 
04:05
Please subscribe if you liked the video :)
Views: 134 Jaydie
Let's Play Sims 4
 
01:19:01
First stream in ages :)
Views: 258 Jaydie
The Negative Effects of Schizoid Personality Disorder
 
03:10
Longer video on SPD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gsJLQmklDE SOURCES Schizoid PD has been "found by Ulrich and colleagues (2007) to have the lowest functioning among the PDs...and has been associated with considerable reduction in quality of life." https://www.researchgate.net/publication/291319820_Prevalence_sociodemographics_and_functional_impairment Social isolation leads to decreased lifespan: http://www.nature.com/news/social-isolation-shortens-lifespan-1.12673 Most homeless people have schizoid PD, and schizoid PD makes it harder to escape homelessness: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2992453/ http://www.ncsinc.org/images/pdfs/JPD_article_winter_2008.pdf https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1009470318513 This is precisely the reason humans evolved to seek and maintain social bonds: humans depend on one another to survive. Having absolutely zero desire or comfort with social bonds isn't normal or even natural. Schizoid PD also makes it very painful and uncomfortable to express emotions and show vulnerability, which can make it difficult to get treatment for psychological problems, which can cause you to spiral into a mental breakdown or even kill yourself.
Views: 910 Jaydie
Carrie | The Light That Shines Within (+Important Announcement in Description)
 
03:59
"There's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark... the light that shines within." ♥ "The things that seem like weird things that make you strange...are your greatest strengths." Anyway, I've gotten questions about why I haven't uploaded in so long. It's because I'm SO busy right now with work and school. Since my channel got demonetized due to not meeting the new requirement for 4,000 viewing hours, I need to put those other things first, for now. So I won't be able to regularly make videos for a while; maybe I could do something to keep in touch with you folks. I don't know. Provide your ideas in the comment section. But for now, I decided to leave it on this positive note with an empowering/motivational song/video. :) Song: Scars to Your Beautiful by Alessia Cara Clip at the beginning: Music video for aforementioned song Movie clips: Carrie 2013 directed by Kimberly Peirce and starring Chloe Moretz Trigger warning: Depiction of self-harm at 0:44 Gore beginning at 3:22 (hopefully my viewers can understand, from the introductory clip at the beginning & context of the song, that I embrace this in a symbolic way of having the power to overcome one's obstacles)
Views: 233 Jaydie
"imperfection is divine" | carrie white
 
04:18
Someone on my other video ("why i love carrie so much: finding power in abnormality"), in which I discussed my admiration for this story's empowering message, said that I should "stop listening to feminism". So I decided to overlay the movie with a song including Eminem. This is just one Eminem song of many (Legacy, Guts Over Fear, Beautiful, Beautiful Pain, etc) that includes this same theme as is illustrated in Carrie. Is Eminem a feminist? Far from it. In fact, his lyrics are often so misogynistic that I sometimes feel bad for enjoying some of his music. But I love the following lyrics from this song: From Bebe Rexha's version: "In a world so black and white, I'm blazing out my mind... In the darkest of my nights, a little spark begun to shine. Woke up and I realized: imperfection is divine." From Eminem's version: "You think I'm crazy? Well that's nothing!... I'm actually weirder than you think... I need an interventionist to intervene between me and this monster And save me from myself, and all this conflict... My OCD's conking me in the head... Seize the moment and don't squander it, Because you never know when it could all be over tomorrow. So I keep conjuring... Give every kid who got played that pumped up feeling and shit to say back to the kids who played 'em... If one kid...who's going through a struggle relates, that's great. It's payback...turn nothing into something... Still can make that straw into gold."
Views: 139 Jaydie
what cured my chronic insomnia
 
02:59
NOTE: this is NOT medical advice. I am not a doctor. I just wanted to share my own personal experience to make you aware of this possibility, that you can bring up with your doctor to see if medications may be right and safe for you, if no non-medicinal solutions are effective. Remember that if you misuse medications, you'll end up with FAR more problems than just insomnia. --- Insomnia was probably my only psychological problem for which no non-medicinal solution helped me at all. In this video I discuss my successful experience with a medication I was prescribed for my bipolar disorder and depression, but which had the positive side effect of permanently curing my insomnia even after I got off. I'm not naming the medicine because it's a medicine for psychiatric disorders which isn't to be taken lightly. It's also VERY expensive compared to alternatives that are just for insomnia. If you also have psychiatric disorders and are curious about the name of the medication, to ask your doctor about, email me at [email protected] --- Donations, via Amazon giftcards, to help improve my channel would be appreciated: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1ZQ9MAHG24V2J & If you donate, please give a suggestion for a video topic for me to dedicate a video to you!
Views: 675 Jaydie
why i love carrie so much: finding power in abnormality
 
08:04
The orange stuff on my hands was fake blood that was in the process of drying. This video explains why I love Stephen King's story of an outcast girl who develops supernatural abilities to overcome her tormentors. I love the idea of using your negative experiences to motivate and empower you. Of course the book ends with violence, but I view that as symbolic, the same way the powers themselves are symbolic. I view it as symbolic of destroying the obstacles in your way. Excerpt from Stephen King's Danse Macabre discussed at 3:39: "Because of her shy mannerisms, Carrie is the butt of every class joke; the social outsider in every situation. She has a mild telekinetic ability which intensifies after her first menstrual period, and she finally uses this power to 'bring down the house' following a terrible social disaster at her high school prom... Carrie is largely about how women find their own channels of power... Carrie is Woman, feeling her powers for the first time, and like Samson, pulling the temple down on everyone in sight... Carrie uses her 'Wild Talent' to pull down the whole rotten society...a dream revolution of the socially downtrodden." Quotes about/from 2013 remake director, Kimberly Peirce, discussed from 5:00 onward: "Here is a girl who's a misfit and wants love and acceptance, which she's not getting... She discovers she has these special gifts. These special gifts are the equivalent of having talent as a writer or director, or whatever it is that gets you through the day." http://www.indiewire.com/2013/10/it-reaches-the-level-of-myth-an-interview-with-kimberly-peirce-director-of-carrie-208090/ "Superpowers...were part of her survival. So if you’re a misfit and you can’t fit into the social spectrum, and you’re lonely and you can’t get love and support...and you find out that you have a talent... If you guys can write, photograph... Whatever your talent is, that’s your mode of survival. That’s what the powers were for her. It was an opportunity to survive and be okay in the world, and of course she goes out and she researches it. And she’s like “oh my god, there are other people like me."... It was her opportunity of fitting into a world that did not want to accept her." https://io9.gizmodo.com/the-freakiest-thing-julianne-moore-does-in-the-carrie-r-1446495151 ""In the beginning, Carrie doesn't have power. She's an outcast who desperately wants to belong." [Kimberly Peirce] sees Carrie as a superhero, an avenging angel for the downtrodden. "It's a superhero origin story. She doesn't have a lot going for her in her life until she finds out she has these supernatural gifts."" http://www.mercurynews.com/2013/10/14/carrie-calls-out-to-all-of-us/ 1976 film previews from a CBS advertisement of the film in 1978: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8eCu9s2urg and the Carrie 1976 special edition trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPbr19CL8zc 2013 film previews from the featurette: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0UoF_5DnDw and official trailer. I added the relevant song overlay on the 2013 film preview. It's Monster Under My Bed by Bebe Rexha: "In the darkest of my nights, a little light begun to shine. Woke up and I realized: imperfection is divine. So this creepy heart of mine...I know it will be just fine."
Views: 392 Jaydie
What's An INFP?
 
05:23
Previously unuploaded footage from the first day I was taking the personality test. Read more here: https://www.16personalities.com/infp-personality "Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people... INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkward and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good." http://www.personalitypage.com/INFP.html
Views: 327 Jaydie
Aspergers & "Special Interests": The Psychological Reason I'm Obsessed With Carrie
 
09:01
Recently, I received a diagnosis that explained a LOT of things, including my obsession with Carrie (which my psychiatrist doesn’t even know about). Carrie is just one of MANY topics I’ve become hopelessly obsessed with, but it’s the most noticeable one to the people who follow me, so I decided to focus on it in this video. “People with Asperger’s syndrome have normal to above-average intelligence but typically have...clumsy movements...difficulties with social interactions and often have pervasive, absorbing interests in special topics.“ https://www.medicinenet.com/asperger_syndrome/article.htm I start talking about 'special interests' at 2:50. Here's more info on special interests: http://autism.wikia.com/wiki/Special_Interests This aspie has been obsessed with Dr. Who for 35 years, making my 5-year obsession with Carrie seem like nothing! http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com/2007/10/dreaded-special-interest.html ~~~Email me at [email protected] for my alternate channel on which I’ll be posting more frequently. Include your YT username so I can discern whether or not you’re a troll.~~~
Views: 206 Jaydie
how i recovered from my fear of talking on the phone
 
03:52
Transcript because I know it's hard to understand me at times: "Hey everybody so I was reading a Tumblr blog basically posting Google searches of people with Avoidant Personality Disorder, so there were a lot that were very relatable to me, for example “how to stop being so oversensitive” and “how to stop exaggerating potential problems.” There was also one “how to make phone calls without dying,” which really reminds me of an issue I still kinda struggle with but used to struggle with a lot: making phone calls. But I have figured out how to “make phone calls without dying” and I’ll explain how: immersion therapy. I used to avoid making phone calls, and when I couldn’t, I’d be basically shaking. But I found out 2 years ago that there was a petition to get a director’s cut with 40 minutes of deleted scene restored to the 2013 movie Carrie, so I basically started forcing myself to make monthly phone calls to MGM to express my interest because I really did want it really bad, and I still kinda do. So doing that really helped me overcome my fear. It was basically immersion therapy. So now I can make phone calls without worrying so much when I need to. Although I’m still really nervous in certain cases. For example, a few months ago I called my ex-therapist because I was going through a rough time, and I was very anxious about that. I was basically shaking. So I’m still not perfect, but I’m a lot better than I was before... I hope this was helpful for anyone who has trouble making phone calls and whatnot. Perhaps you could also get over your fears of phone calls by calling to express your interest in an extended cut of the 2013 Carrie movie!…Honestly, it doesn’t have to be about that. If you don’t care, whatever. Just get practice somehow. If you have friends, which I don’t have, maybe that would be an even more comfortable way of immersion therapy. So yeah I hope this video was helpful, see ya next time." Link to petition for an extended cut of Carrie 2013 with 40+ minutes of deleted scenes: http://www.getpetition.com/petitions/carriepetition
Views: 229 Jaydie
Love Is All I Fear | Carrie White
 
02:57
"My heart is nuclear, love is all that I fear. Ready to be let down. Now I’m heading for a meltdown." Relatable music (Radioactive by Marina and the Diamonds) over a relatable movie (Carrie 2013). And for the last time, for those people who are on my page just looking for something to make me look bad, stop taking Carrie's massacre so literally. As Julianne Moore (actress in Carrie) said in an interview, "telekinesis is just a metaphor for very strong emotion." Anyway, if you can also relate to this song (I'm sorry) then please look into "fearful-avoidant attachment style"; you probably have that (like I do).
Views: 111 Jaydie
Living Dead | Carrie White
 
02:48
More relatable Marina and the Diamonds music (specifically Living Dead) overlayed over a relatable movie. I think Living Dead adequately describes what it's like to have Schizoid Personality Disorder. "Every day I feel the same, stuck and I can never change... I'm living dead. Haven't lived life, haven't lived love... Got bubble wrap around my heart...permanently at square one... I'm so dissatisfied, the weight of an empty life... I haven't lived my life, I haven't lived love... I'm living dead. Dead, dead, dead. Dead."
Views: 168 Jaydie
My Thoughts On American Horror Story (& What Makes A Story Awesome)
 
05:22
I apologize for the noise in the background; my cat is overly hyper. Please subscribe if you liked the video :)
Views: 124 Jaydie
Beautiful Pain | Carrie White
 
04:30
"There's always someone wanting to pull you down, and tell you ‘no, you are never going to succeed, you are never gonna be what you want to be in life’, and Carrie overcomes all those obstacles, despite having lived such a reclusive life…being brought down by everything." - Chloe Moretz https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LVaO3wlN Anyone who hasn't figured out yet that my love for Carrie is based upon the symbolism of destroying one's obstacles, & the killings are a very moving piece of FICTIONAL/metaphorical imagery (similar to the imagery depicted in the song), is beyond help at this point. Song: Beautiful Pain by Eminem and Sia "It’s a beautiful kind of pain, setting fire to yesterday Find the light, find the light, find the light... This feeling of resilience is building... Rising, a phoenix from the flames... I have learned from fighting...not with fists, but with wings that I will fly."
Views: 135 Jaydie
Recreating My Childhood on Sims 3
 
02:31:32
If the stream randomly shuts off, it's because my laptop has a tendency of randomly shutting off sometimes.
Views: 79 Jaydie
Carrie White | Anxiety
 
02:56
I think this video (putting Carrie 2013 clips to Papercut by Linkin Park) accurately depicts what it's like to have an anxiety disorder. The singer of the song, Chester Bennington, and the girl upon whom the novel Carrie was based, both committed suicide. So this is pretty serious stuff. Relevant elements from the movie: Being caged in the prison of your mind Pushing everyone away "I know this scares you; it scares me too... But I want to be normal. I have to try and be a whole person before it's too late." "He'll hurt you... He'll take you out in his car into the wilderness where it's cold, and the roadhouses are, and the whiskey..." "Why would he want to go with me? They're just going to trick me again." "They're all going to laugh at you!" "Stop it, I'm nervous enough..." Song lyrics: "Why does it feel like night today? Something in the air's not right today Why am I so uptight today? Paranoia's all I got left... I have a voice in the back of my head Like a face that I hold inside...that laughs every time I fall... Points out all my mistakes to me... It watches everything, so I know that when it's time to sink or swim that the face inside is here in me right underneath my skin I'm paranoid, looking over my back It's like a whirlwind inside of my head It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin."
Views: 207 Jaydie
Big 5 Personality Test
 
17:58
Can you guess how I stack up when it comes to the Big 5 traits of extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism, and openness to experience? Taken on the same day as the other personality test, but I'm just uploading this now.
Views: 474 Jaydie
what's jaydie's IQ? & more from her high school IEP
 
09:06
Found my high school IEP & figured I'd share it in case anybody is curious. In this video I review the results from the cognitive tests (IQ, writing, etc). I'll make other videos regarding the information about my life history, and also what my teachers thought about me, at another time. Did I achieve my postsecondary goals?: 1:17 Psychiatric diagnoses as of June 2013 (aka the reason for my IEP to begin with): 3:09 IQ: 3:20 Verbal Reasoning Abilities: 3:25 Nonverbal Reasoning Abilities: 3:38 Working Memory Index: 3:46 Processing Speed Index & My Physical Ineptitude: 3:55 Total Achievement: 5:50 Reading & Decoding Skills: 5:56 Broad Math Achievement & Computational Skills: 6:20 Applied Problem Solving Abilities: 6:30 Math skills: 6:40 Writing & spelling skills: 7:00 (Yay, I'm good at something!) Oral language abilities: 7:40 Story recall: 7:45
Views: 1418 Jaydie
Recreating My Childhood on Sims 3 (Stream #2)
 
30:16
If the stream randomly shuts off, it's because my laptop has a tendency of randomly shutting off sometimes.
Views: 34 Jaydie
bipolar sexuality
 
08:42
Source regarding average number of sexual partners among bipolar women: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4852112/ Source debunking the myth of "the cock carousel" among young women in general: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n.htmf Sources regarding most men, but no women, agreeing to sex when approached by a random stranger: https://interpersona.psychopen.eu/article/view/121/html
Views: 1186 Jaydie
Carrie White | The Next Supreme
 
03:47
I heard this song, really liked the beat, & found it very relevant to Stephen King's quote in his book Danse Macabre regarding the symbolic meaning of Carrie: "Carrie is about how women find their own channels of power, and what men fear about women and women's sexuality... Carrie is Woman, feeling her power for the first time and...using her "Wild Talent" to destroy the whole rotten society." - Stephen King So I figured that since I was on a roll with Carrie videos, I'd do one to this song. Carrie is METAL! Literally, though. Blood has a lot of iron, and iron is classified as a metal on the periodic table of elements. Before I get a bunch of triggered comments from members of the manosphere: This is a playful fanvideo done in jest. Don't get worked up over it. It's not that serious. Movie: Carrie 2013 Song: Pssy Kills by Rocky Rivera https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_wtTAPGrcg
Views: 114 Jaydie
Crybaby | Carrie White
 
05:23
Obligatory 40 second intro because too many of my viewers don't understand that my embrace of this story is symbolic rather than an embrace of literal murder: "The supernatural and telekinesis are metaphors, a way to manifest feeling... [Carrie is] just beginning to discover who she is, and in the process, discovers she has this power that is linked to her feeling." - Julianne Moore "Carrie's emotions are so powerful that they affect the world. And as she says to her mother, 'there are other people out there like me who can do what I can do'... Telekinesis is the ability to do things with your mind and your emotion. There is power to our emotions and power to our thoughts. I hope that our audience falls in love with the moment Carrie discovers her power, and that they think, 'that could be me'." - Director Kimberly Peirce Regarding the design of blood on Carrie's face in the prom scene: "The left side was a little more sympathetic, and the blood drops are almost like tears around her eyes, it’s her softer side. The right side was a lot more monstrous...almost like a skeletal design the way it splattered across the top of her face." http://www.mpa-canada.org/a-bloody-good-job-carries-makeup-maestro-jordan-samuel/ Quote from the author of the song: “I was made fun of a lot when I was younger for being overly sensitive and emotional… A lot of people are taught that being emotional is a weakness, and I really wanted to overcome my insecurities with feeling out of control with my emotions… I just wanted to turn the word [crybaby] into a compliment, not an insult, and really show that even if you’re emotional you can still be strong. I wanted to get over that stigma.” Song lyrics: "You seem to replace your brain with your heart; You take things so hard and then you fall apart... Those cry baby tears come out of the dark. Someone's turning the handle to that faucet in your eyes They're pouring out where everyone can see. Your heart's too big for your body... You're all on your own and you've lost all your friends... It's not you, it's them; you're one of a kind, and no one understands... They call you crybaby, crybaby but you don't fucking care. Crybaby, crybaby, so you laugh through your tears... Tears fall to the ground, we'll just let them drown." Movie: Carrie (2013) Song: Crybaby (Cover by American Avenue ft. Kalie Wolfe of RIVALS) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOkQJlXDXTA
Views: 146 Jaydie
Healthy Ways To Lose Weight (Why I'm So Skinny)
 
04:30
Nobody should aspire to get as thin as I am. People should aspire to be a healthy weight. But some of my habits, that contribute to my low weight, may be productive in helping other people lose weight (preferably to a healthy weight). Sources to studies regarding fidgeting being a good form of exercise: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/1999/feb/23/healthandwellbeing.health https://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2015/09/23/can-fidgeting-offset-the-ill-effects-of-sitting-new-study-says-so/#5b3921cf2dca
Views: 181 Jaydie
debunking hookup culture & the "cock carousel"
 
05:59
I think that the manosphere should stop pretending that they understand female psychology.
Views: 714 Jaydie
halloween vlog: putting on my costume
 
15:19
Enjoy watching me utterly fail at putting on a Halloween costume. I was never good with my hands, I've never worn a wig before, and this was my first Halloween costume in 9 years. Of course I'm being Carrie! Novel scenes mentioned in this video: 1:04-1:20: "In the book it describes Carrie's dress as becoming pretty tattered" "The plaster plaques in the living room (CHRIST, THE UNSEEN GUEST, WHAT WOULD JESUS DO, THE HOUR DRAWETH NIGH; IF TONIGHT BECAME JUDGMENT, WOULD YOU BE READY) exploded one after the other... The kitchen door slammed and Carrie walked in... The prom dress was in tatters and flaps, and the pig blood had began to clot and streak." 4:08 "I'm not too worried about sitting on the ground because in the book...by the end of the night, her dress had grass and stuff on it." "Carrie was standing in front of them... Her gown was covered with dirt and grass stain. She had crawled much of the distance from Carlin Street...to destroy this roadhouse - perhaps the very one where the doom of her creation had begun." 14:30 Rubbing blood on her dress is what Carrie does in the book: "She was unaware that she was scrubbing her bloodied hands against her dress like Lady Macbeth, or that she was weeping even as she laughed, or that one hidden part of her mind was keening over her final and utter ruin. But she was going to take them with her."
Views: 543 Jaydie
Crybaby | Carrie White (MultiMovie Version)
 
05:04
Remade it with scenes from all 4 Carrie movies, focusing more on the water-based scenes. Obligatory 40 second intro because too many of my viewers don't understand that my embrace of this story is symbolic rather than an embrace of literal murder: "The supernatural and telekinesis are metaphors to manifest feeling... [Carrie's] just beginning to discover who she is, and in the process, discovers she has this power that is linked to her feelings." - Julianne Moore "Carrie's emotions are so powerful that they affect the world. And as she says to her mother, 'there are other people out there like me who can do what I can do'... Telekinesis is the ability to do things with your mind and your emotion. There is power to our emotions and power to our thoughts. I hope that our audience falls in love with the moment Carrie discovers her power, and that they think, 'that could be me'." - Director Kimberly Peirce Regarding the design of blood on Carrie's face in the prom scene: "The left side was a little more sympathetic, and the blood drops are almost like tears around her eyes, it’s her softer side. The right side was a lot more monstrous...almost like a skeletal design the way it splattered across the top of her face." http://www.mpa-canada.org/a-bloody-good-job-carries-makeup-maestro-jordan-samuel/ Quote from the author of the song: “I was made fun of a lot when I was younger for being overly sensitive and emotional… A lot of people are taught that being emotional is a weakness, and I really wanted to overcome my insecurities with feeling out of control with my emotions… I just wanted to turn the word [crybaby] into a compliment, not an insult, and really show that even if you’re emotional you can still be strong. I wanted to get over that stigma.” Song lyrics: "You seem to replace your brain with your heart; You take things so hard and then you fall apart... Those cry baby tears come out of the dark. Someone's turning the handle to that faucet in your eyes They're pouring out where everyone can see. Your heart's too big for your body... You're all on your own and you've lost all your friends... It's not you, it's them; you're one of a kind, and no one understands... They call you crybaby, crybaby but you don't fucking care. Crybaby, crybaby, so you laugh through your tears... Tears fall to the ground, we'll just let them drown." Movie scenes: Carrie (2013, 2002, and 1976), Carrie 2: The Rage Song: Crybaby (Cover by American Avenue ft. Kalie Wolfe of RIVALS) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOkQJlXDXTA
Views: 143 Jaydie
proof single moms aren't more abusive than single dads
 
11:01
SEE TRANSCRIPT BELOW. DISCLAIMER: I'm NOT saying that women should be guaranteed sole custody in all cases. It should be examined case-by-case. It's true that a single dad is more likely to abuse a child than a single mom, as I'll prove below, but the reverse is true in some instances. Moreover, MOST single fathers AND single mothers are good people who would never abuse their children, & unlike MGTOW, I realize that a majority doesn't deserve to be blamed for the actions of a minority of people. Transcript: "In the manosphere, it's a common idea that a single mother is more likely to abuse her child than a single father. I actually have proof of the opposite, straight from someone who was trying to make the claim... https://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/cb/cm2015.pdf Abusers of children are (in order of percentage) - Biological Mother Alone (26.7%) - Biological Mother & Father Together (22.3%) - Biological Father Alone (14.7%) It's true that a higher percentage is of mothers, but using this to prove that a single mom is more likely to abuse a child than a single dad, goes by the same logic as a "SJW" who was saying that because most American rapists are white men, that means white men are more likely to rape than men of color... But in reality...most people in the US who rape are white, because most people in the US are white. Rape rates, however, may be equal between races. I'm sure all of you understand that logic. The same applies here. The reason more single moms commit child abuse is that most single parent households are moms. Since 24% of single parent households are headed by men, the percentage of child abuse (by single parents) committed by men, if they occurred at equal rates, would be 24%[1]... Let's do some math... Child abuse perpetrated solely by the mother is 26.7%, solely by the father is 14.7%. So let's see how they stack up: 26.7+14.7=41.4% of child abuse is committed solely by one parent. 14.7 of 41.4 is 35.5%. So...a much greater % than would be the case if they were equally as likely to abuse their kids as single mothers. This indicates that a single father is more likely to abuse his child than a single mother. This disputes claims from the manosphere that a single mother is more likely to abuse a child than a single father... Let me establish something: these are a minority. Most mothers OR fathers don't abuse their children. Most fathers, like most mothers, are wonderful people who keep their family going. But there is a minority of people who do bad things. And the truth is that the majority of that minority, which is really small, is men... That's reflected in child abuse, which is disproportionately high among men. That reflects the fact that most murders in general are committed by men. Some people argue that women commit less murder because they're less able to, because they're weaker. By that reasoning, women would be more likely to kill other women than to kill men, because women are about the same strength compared to men. But that's the opposite of the case. Of the 10% of murders that are committed by women, women are 4.5x as likely to kill men than to kill other women.[2] And that's not a surprise. The argument was bogus anyway. Most murders don't require physical strength. Most murders are committed with guns or poison, or something like that. You don't need strength to do that. A weak woman could pull a trigger, but they're much less likely to, because they're much less likely to want to. The reason I'm making this video is to debunk the common idea misogynists use that because more women abuse children - they won't take into account the proportions, & that it's simply because more women than men have custody over their children in general & are thus more able to kill their children - they'll say "this is proof that if women were stronger, they'd be much more murderous than men." Well, I disproved that. So a lot of the manosphere get off to the idea that women are much more evil than men. My argument isn't that men are more evil than women, it's that there are more evil men than evil women. It's a completely different argument. They use a minority to unrighteously demonize an entire gender. I'm acknowledging that it's a very very very slim minority of people who abuse or kill or whatever, and of those, most are men. As a similar example, most geniuses are men. Unlike the manosphere, I don't give all men credit for the accomplishments of a minority of men. The same is the case here. All men don't get blamed for the actions of a few. It just seems that more men do more abnormal things, whether good or bad. Misogynists need to stop falsely generalizing acting like all men do good and all women do bad." [1] http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/07/02/the-rise-of-single-fathers/ [2] https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/htus8008.pdf
Views: 344 Jaydie
Carrie's Motivational Symbolism Explained by Cast & Director
 
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I was going to make one of these anyway, but when I got accused of obsessing over the story because I wanted psychic powers to kill people, I decided to hasten it up. More quotes regarding motivational symbolism. From Stephen King's Danse Macabre: "Because of her shy mannerisms, Carrie is every class joke & the social outsider in every situation. She has a mild telekinetic ability which intensifies after her first menstrual period, and she finally uses this power to 'bring down the house' following a terrible social disaster at her high school prom... Carrie is largely about how women find their own channels of power... Carrie White is a sadly misused teenager, an example of the sort of person whose spirit becomes broken... But she is also Woman, feeling her powers for the first time, and like Samson, pulling the temple down on everyone in sight... Carrie uses her 'Wild Talent' to pull down the whole rotten society...a dream revolution of the socially downtrodden." From 2013 director Kimberly Peirce: "Superpowers...were part of her survival. So if you’re a misfit and you can’t fit into the social spectrum, and you’re lonely and you can’t get love and support...and you find out that you have a talent... If you can write, photograph... Whatever your talent is, that’s your mode of survival." https://io9.gizmodo.com/the-freakiest-thing-julianne-moore-does-in-the-carrie-r-1446495151 The song is Monster Under My Bed by Bebe Rexha, specifically the following relevant lyrics: "In the darkest of my nights, a little spark begun to shine I woke up and I realized imperfection is divine So this creepy heart of mine That's tiptoed on the line I know we will be just fine And I know why." I might eventually do a longer version with additional relevant motivational songs (namely Guts Over Fear and Monster by Eminem).
Views: 139 Jaydie
to men who shame women for hooking up
 
03:27
As a note, I'm NOT referring to men who simply agree with me that casual hook ups are unhealthy & should be discouraged. I'm referring to men who shame women for it, call them misogynistic slurs, etc. I discourage hooking up (as I describe in another video), but it's one thing to discourage it, & another thing to shame someone for it. Especially when you'd probably do it yourself if you had the chance which, if you're a man, is probably (not definitely, but probably) the case. Source for the studies that show that most men agree when random women approach them asking to hook up: https://interpersona.psychopen.eu/article/view/121/html Source that more people are willing to lay even conventionally unattractive women than they'd be willing to lay most men: http://jonmillward.com/blog/attraction-dating/cupid-on-trial-a-4-month-online-dating-experiment/
Views: 556 Jaydie
LGBT in the Bible (Is It A Sin? Are LGBT People "Reprobates"?!?)
 
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I debunk some homophobic arguments that are made, based on misconstructions/misinterpretations of the Bible, by Christian extremists. Points covered in the video. 1) Regarding Romans 1 - “Trading natural for unnatural relations” probably refers to anal sex, among both heterosexual and gay couples. (Studies show that anal sex isn’t even very common among gay couples.[1]) - Even if it is a sign of being a reprobate, so are envy, greed, hatred, and disobedience to parents, i.e. sins that basically everyone has committed. But not everyone is a reprobate; neither is everyone who engages in anal sex. - By definition, reprobates must have already rejected God & begun worshiping images of birds and animals and reptiles. Most gay people have never done this; therefore, they cannot be reprobates. - Reprobates are “full of murder”, which most gay people have never committed; thus, they cannot be reprobates. - Aside from anal sex (which is also condemned in heterosexual relationships), the Bible says nothing about 2 men or 2 women loving one another, or even engaging in other forms of physical intimacy. 2) The City of Sodom - People who lived in Sodom were true reprobates. Unlike the vast majority of gay people, they murdered, tortured, raped people, and (as stated in Ezekiel) didn't help the poor and needy. - They “went after strange flesh” - this is probably referring to how they tried to rape angels. 3) Regarding the actions of gay people - Gay people are not that much more promiscuous than straight people.[2] - Even if gay men did have much more casual sex, it's simply due to greater opportunity. If not prevented by women's selectivity, straight men would do the same thing. Studies show that when asked by a random stranger for sex, most men say yes[3]. Lack of opportunity is the only reason straight men are not as promiscuous as gay men. - If gay relationships are more violent, it’s due to internalized homophobia because of our homophobic society. Gay people are no more sinners than anybody else, and should be treated with the same love and respect with which we are to treat anybody else. [1] https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-alvear/why-do-gay-men-have-so-li_b_7795648.html [2] https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2010/oct/19/gay-men-promiscuous-myth [3] https://interpersona.psychopen.eu/article/view/121/html Please subscribe if you liked the video, & share the video with anyone who tries to use the Bible to demonize gay people. :)
Views: 132 Jaydie
when i realized i liked girls
 
01:01
This is part of a Q&A: "When did you realize you liked girls?" The rest of the Q&A will be uploaded shortly.
Views: 644 Jaydie
Making Carrie on Sims 3
 
01:21:24
This is my second livestream, so be patient with me. On Sims 3, I'll be making Carrie White, Sue Snell, Tommy Ross, and Sue and Tommy's daughter. I hope to make Carrie, Sue, and Tommy into a relationship together if I can figure out how to do it, since the book said that Tommy was in love with both Carrie and Sue, and Sue was okay with that (she even found it cute).
Views: 101 Jaydie
Playing Sims 4 for the First Time: Create-A-Sim
 
30:58
This is gonna be super short because it's currently 3:42AM and my mom wakes up at 4:30. In this video, I made sims of myself & fictional character Carrie White.
Views: 113 Jaydie
Attachment Styles Part 3: About the Styles (Empirically Validated)
 
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Empirically validated attachment styles include: secure (which is healthy, and possessed by a majority of the population), anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. I discuss them more in this video, you can read more here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201507/what-is-your-relationship-attachment-style https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201307/how-your-attachment-style-impacts-your-relationship I take an attachment style test in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0EYkNcCafY And, in this video, discover that I have a mainly fearful-avoidant attachment style with anxious-preoccupied and dismissive-avoidant attachment in some contexts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwG7B8OxKz4 However, I'm not sure how dismissive-avoidant would ever be accurate for me, considering the fact that dismissive-avoidant people do really experience less distress when they're rejected (as proven by brainscans), which is the opposite of the truth for me: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3277372/ Fearful avoidants such as myself experience more distress when rejected, lower self-esteem, and higher worry: https://www.sbp-journal.com/index.php/sbp/article/view/1811https://ejop.psychopen.eu/article/viewFile/463/pdf Fearful-avoidant people also experience more distress following relationship dissolution, whereas dismissive-avoidant people experience less. http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167203029007006 However I guess there's a silver lining for fearful avoidants because the greater pain also correlates with greater personal growth. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3774645/
Views: 96 Jaydie
dyspraxia aka why i chopped most of my hair off
 
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DSM criteria for dyspraxia: A. Performance in daily activities that require motor coordination is substantially below that expected given the person's chronological age and measured intelligence. This may be manifested by marked delays in achieving motor milestones (e.g., walking, crawling, sitting), dropping things, "clumsiness," poor performance in sports, or poor handwriting. B. The disturbance in Criterion A significantly interferes with academic achievement or activities of daily living. --- If anybody has any advice or input, it'd be appreciated! (I'd also like tips on how to make my short hair look less plain and boring.)
Views: 310 Jaydie
MBTI Personality Test
 
14:25
At the end, I meant to say that "I'll talk more about my personality type" in my next video. I had to cut it off there because apparently YouTube limits me to 15 minutes. Anyway, take your test here: https://www.16personalities.com/
Views: 767 Jaydie
i just turned 21!
 
01:03
Birthday donations to help improve my channel would be appreciated: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1ZQ9MAHG24V2J If you donate, please email me at [email protected] with a request for me to dedicate a video to you, because you deserve it, and suggest a possible topic :D Or you can make a request for something on my new Twitch (e.g. that I make a Sim for you, or something). https://twitch.tv/xjmichelle
Views: 1391 Jaydie
i had my first drink & was beat at arm-wrestling by my 10 year old cousin
 
03:50
Summary of my Easter. I apologize about my voice being a bit hard to understand at times, I was trying not to talk too loud because my mom is asleep. I promise I'm usually a lot better at this game (Cubefield). I just sucked cause I was nervous to play it publicly.
Views: 169 Jaydie
Coping With Rage
 
10:44
I describe my experience with impulsive fits of rage that I experienced for most of my life, and at 6:53, begin to describe the mechanisms I learned to cope with my rage, which have brought me to the point that I don't have to cope with the rage anymore because I no longer experience it (going on 5 years now, and it's an awesomely freeing feeling). Of course, one of the biggest factors that eliminated my rage was getting mental health treatment & learning to deal with my pain and intense erratic emotions in general, so if you experience this issue, I recommend you do the same. CBT and DBT in particular might be especially effective. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023%2FA%3A1018763902991?LI=true They're even effective for violent criminals, which should say something about how effective it must be for the general population: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/cbm.686/full http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/cbm.542/full Source for my claim at 3:00 that self-harming behaviors during temper tantrums is almost always associated with a psychiatric diagnosis of depression. So if you know any children who do this, please get them help immediately: https://source.wustl.edu/2007/12/excessive-tantrums-in-preschoolers-may-indicate-serious-mental-health-problems/ Unfortunately my channel is going to be demonetized next month for not having the necessary 4,000 viewing hours. So if you appeciate my content & want to support it, you can donate here (it doesn't have to be $50, that's just the default): http://a.co/i6dMkkS
Views: 258 Jaydie
Carrie White | Happy
 
04:02
All of my Carrie videos (Numb, Living Dead, Sorry) have been depressing as hell, so I figured I'd do a lighter-hearted one that is still relevant to the story. The song is Happy by Marina and the Diamonds: "Couldn't relax, couldn't sit back and let the sunlight fall in my lap...I sang a hymn to bring me peace, and then it came: a melody...It made me feel like I belonged...and all the sadness inside me melted away like I was free... I found what I've been looking for in myself, found a life worth living for someone else. Never thought that I could be happy... I don't go out much at all; I've never been the type to call. I realized to be happy, maybe I need a little company... I've been desperately alone...But I believe in divinity... I believe in possibility, I believe there's someone watching over me... I was looking for a Holy Ghost...but happiness, it followed me... Finally I've found a way to be happy." i.e. Life Goals! The voice at 0:46 is Carrie 2013 director Kim Peirce's commentary regarding the scene.
Views: 170 Jaydie
my favorite video games, music, & movies
 
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This is a segment of a longer video regarding schizoid personality disorder, which is characterized by a chronic aversion to social bonding: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gsJLQmklDE 0:47 - video games (pls donate somehow so that i can play games on twitch. though i don't even know how to set up donations so help would be appreciated, thanks!) 1:38 - music. 2:32 - literature and movies. some songs that accurately illustrate schizoid pd include 'the outsider' and 'living dead' by marina and the diamonds, & 'boulevard of broken dreams' by green day. thumbnail combines the sims 2 logo with the cover art for a sims 2 adaptation of Stephen King's Carrie. http://modthesims.info/t/517752
Views: 141 Jaydie
regarding my voice
 
02:00
No, I'm not doing it on purpose.
Views: 386 Jaydie
My Thoughts on Hell
 
02:37
Does hell exist? If so, are gay and bisexual people going there? The concepts of "a loving God" and "God sends people to hell for not following the one right religion out of thousands of religions and/or falling in love with someone of the same gender" don't jibe.
Views: 222 Jaydie
Debunking Misogyny: Regarding Single Parents
 
06:28
Remember I'm relatively new to this so please be patient with me. --- Sources: Regarding single-mother households generally having better outcomes than single-father households, and more men than women abusing their (and other people’s) children when time spent with children is controlled for: http://www.squareonemd.com/pdf/Does%20the%20Gender%20of%20Parents%20Matter%202010.pdf Sedlack & Broadhurst. Executive summary of the third national incidence study of child abuse and neglect, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Washington, DC: National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect. 1 in 3 American kids don’t live with their dads: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/dec/25/fathers-disappear-from-households-across-america/ Most American rapists are white: https://sapac.umich.edu/article/196 Do you think that’s because white people are more likely to rape, or maybe because white people make up the majority of people in America in general, and thus naturally make up a majority of rapists as well? The same issue is the reason why most violent criminals are raised by single mothers despite single-fathers having equally bad outcomes. --- Again, I'm not saying that single fathers in general are bad. Only a minority of single-parent households have these bad outcomes. My point is simply to debunk a common point of misogyny in the manosphere.
Views: 524 Jaydie
Carrie | Just A Girl
 
02:42
Music: Most Girls by Hailee Seinfeld Movies: Carrie (2013) and one relevant scene from Carrie (1976) Denise suggested that I make a Carrie video overlayed with relevant music, and Most Girls by Hailee Steinfeld came up on my music playlist, which I thought was relevant considering Stephen King wrote in his intro to Carrie that the novel illustrates "what could've happened if the world was as fair to young girls as it is hard" & wrote in his book Danse Macabre that Carrie symbolizes "Woman, feeling her powers for the first time". This video encapsulates what women can be like when unfettered by societal conditioning that forces them to be pitted against one another (which was mentioned, in the intro to the 1990 special edition of Carrie, to be why Carrie's female classmates ganged up on her in the locker room.) Carrie is a girl absolutely devoted and deadset on reaching her goals, and Sue is a girl sacrificing her "one magical night" so that the outcast girl can try to enjoy herself for once in her life, and doing her best to try to prevent Carrie from being harmed. An aspect I really love about this story is that Carrie is constantly shamed that femaleness is a curse and something to be ashamed of, but progressively she realizes that there's nothing wrong with it, and really it's a beautiful thing (i.e. the scene in which she happily tells Sue that Sue's pregnant & that she'll be having a girl). Quote from the book: "Found written repeatedly on one page of a notebook owned by Carrie White: "Everybody's guessed/that baby can't be blessed/'til she finally sees that she's like all the rest" [Lyrics from Just Like A Woman by Bob Dylan]."
Views: 139 Jaydie